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Supportive Communication

Read the following excerpt from an e-mail sent by a CEO to 400 company managers at a high-technology company called Cerner. Reflect on the eight attributes of supportive communication and detail how you might apply those over the next 30 days in your job to avoid some of the problems associated with this communication.

“We are getting less than 40 hours of work from a large number of our K.C.-based EMPLOYEES. The parking lot is sparsely used at 8:00 A.M.; likewise at 5 P.M. As managers – you either do not know what your EMPLOYEES are doing, or you do not CARE. You have created expectations on the work effort that allowed this to happen inside Cerner, creating a very unhealthy environment. In either case, you have a problem and you will fix it or I will replace you. NEVER in my career have I allowed a team that worked for me to think they had a 40-hour job. I have allowed YOU to create a culture that is permitting this. NO LONGER.”

Whetten and Cameron (2016) argue that the “most important skill in building and strengthening positive relationships is the ability to communicate with people in a way that enhances feelings of trust, openness, and support.”  Developing relationships that build on these principles is foundational to the effective operation of any organization.  Without the smooth exchange of information and ideas, organizations lose the benefit of collaboration between managers, employees, customers, suppliers, and all other organizations and individuals involved.  Leaders need to ensure that they are fostering smooth communication, and never causing those lines to break down.

The email excerpt at the beginning of this post provides several examples of how to cause open communication to break down.

The language that the CEO chose to use was condescending and aggressive, which causes defensiveness.  “Defensiveness arises when a person feels threatened or punished by the communication” (Whetten & Cameron, 2016). The CEO has clearly threatened the managers of Cerner.  Using capital letters in an email is essentially the same as yelling. There are blatant threats, such as: “you will fix it or I will replace you,” and “NO LONGER.” A person’s natural reaction to this type of communication is to become defensive, and the focus is shifted from listening to defending.  Defensiveness inhibits an open flow of information and damages interpersonal relationships.

Because of the condescending nature of the CEO’s email, disconfirmation is also a likely result.  Disconfirmation is the “feeling resulting from communication that demeans or belittles the recipient and threatens his or her sense of self-worth” (Whetten & Cameron, 2016). I believe the natural reaction that most people would experience after reading the sample email would be to think that there is something wrong with the CEO; to think perhaps he is just having a bad day, or to completely lose respect for him, demean him, and hold him in disregard.

This CEO has provided a great example of how to erode relationships by communicating unsupportively.  There are many lessons that I can take from this example and apply to my own leadership opportunities.  

First, I believe in the importance of being personal with interpersonal relationships.  I prefer to speak with someone face to face if possible.  If that is impractical, a phone call is much better than a text or email.  The more personal the interaction, the better the exchange of information.  The more personal the interaction the easier it is to express what you are actually thinking and feeling.  In an impersonal email it is easy to allow unauthentic feeling and emotions get through.

The CEO made the problem personal by blaming and attacking, and using language that makes the managers of Cerner feel inept.  I can avoid this by ensuring that, when problems arise, I take the time and make the effort to objectively describe the problem and its consequences, not attack those involved.  He has also uses broad, sweeping statements, such as “you either don’t know what your EMPLOYEES are doing, or you do not CARE.”  A leader should “avoid extremes or absolutes” (Whetten & Cameron, 2016).  It is important to always use language to build up and edify.  Instead of resolving the problem, this CEO has created more by allowing lines of communication to decay.

Two specific areas where I can improve and become a more supportive communicator is by taking ownership of my statements, and in being a better listener.  At times, when I am relaying a message that I don’t agree with or I think that others will not readily accept, I fail to take ownership of the message.  In these situations I use language such as “management has asked that…” or “the handbook says that we have to…”  By using this kind of language I am causing a gap in interpersonal communication by depersonalizing the message.  I can improve these messages by saying “I believe that the handbook policy addressing this provides the answer…”  Reframing the message this way shows that I support the policies in the handbook, instead of separating myself from them.  

Whetten and Cameron (2016) say that “most people have underdeveloped listening skills.”  I believe that one of my biggest weaknesses with listening skills is that while I should be listening, I am constructing my response.  Covey (1989) said “Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand.  We listen with the intent to reply.”  Headlee (2016) suggested that we should avoid multitasking while listening.  Multitasking begins when we do anything in addition to listening.   As I recognize my tendency to do this I will be able to work towards overcoming it.  Just this week I have caught myself doing this a few different times, and have been able to refocus on what is being said.

As I apply the eight attributes of supportive communication I will be able to improve my communication skills, and “enhance feelings of trust, openness, and support” (Whetten & Cameron, 2016).

References

Covey, S. (1989). The seven habits of highly effective people. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Headlee, C. (2016). 10 ways to have a better conversation [Video File]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/R1vskiVDwl4

Whetton, D. A. & Cameron, K. S. (2016). Developing management skills 9th ed. Boston, MA: Pearson.