A520.4.3.RB_CliffordMarc

Image credit:https://communicationinhealthblogblog.
wordpress.com/

Supportive Communication

Read the following excerpt from an e-mail sent by a CEO to 400 company managers at a high-technology company called Cerner. Reflect on the eight attributes of supportive communication and detail how you might apply those over the next 30 days in your job to avoid some of the problems associated with this communication.

“We are getting less than 40 hours of work from a large number of our K.C.-based EMPLOYEES. The parking lot is sparsely used at 8:00 A.M.; likewise at 5 P.M. As managers – you either do not know what your EMPLOYEES are doing, or you do not CARE. You have created expectations on the work effort that allowed this to happen inside Cerner, creating a very unhealthy environment. In either case, you have a problem and you will fix it or I will replace you. NEVER in my career have I allowed a team that worked for me to think they had a 40-hour job. I have allowed YOU to create a culture that is permitting this. NO LONGER.”

Whetten and Cameron (2016) argue that the “most important skill in building and strengthening positive relationships is the ability to communicate with people in a way that enhances feelings of trust, openness, and support.”  Developing relationships that build on these principles is foundational to the effective operation of any organization.  Without the smooth exchange of information and ideas, organizations lose the benefit of collaboration between managers, employees, customers, suppliers, and all other organizations and individuals involved.  Leaders need to ensure that they are fostering smooth communication, and never causing those lines to break down.

The email excerpt at the beginning of this post provides several examples of how to cause open communication to break down.

The language that the CEO chose to use was condescending and aggressive, which causes defensiveness.  “Defensiveness arises when a person feels threatened or punished by the communication” (Whetten & Cameron, 2016). The CEO has clearly threatened the managers of Cerner.  Using capital letters in an email is essentially the same as yelling. There are blatant threats, such as: “you will fix it or I will replace you,” and “NO LONGER.” A person’s natural reaction to this type of communication is to become defensive, and the focus is shifted from listening to defending.  Defensiveness inhibits an open flow of information and damages interpersonal relationships.

Because of the condescending nature of the CEO’s email, disconfirmation is also a likely result.  Disconfirmation is the “feeling resulting from communication that demeans or belittles the recipient and threatens his or her sense of self-worth” (Whetten & Cameron, 2016). I believe the natural reaction that most people would experience after reading the sample email would be to think that there is something wrong with the CEO; to think perhaps he is just having a bad day, or to completely lose respect for him, demean him, and hold him in disregard.

This CEO has provided a great example of how to erode relationships by communicating unsupportively.  There are many lessons that I can take from this example and apply to my own leadership opportunities.  

First, I believe in the importance of being personal with interpersonal relationships.  I prefer to speak with someone face to face if possible.  If that is impractical, a phone call is much better than a text or email.  The more personal the interaction, the better the exchange of information.  The more personal the interaction the easier it is to express what you are actually thinking and feeling.  In an impersonal email it is easy to allow unauthentic feeling and emotions get through.

The CEO made the problem personal by blaming and attacking, and using language that makes the managers of Cerner feel inept.  I can avoid this by ensuring that, when problems arise, I take the time and make the effort to objectively describe the problem and its consequences, not attack those involved.  He has also uses broad, sweeping statements, such as “you either don’t know what your EMPLOYEES are doing, or you do not CARE.”  A leader should “avoid extremes or absolutes” (Whetten & Cameron, 2016).  It is important to always use language to build up and edify.  Instead of resolving the problem, this CEO has created more by allowing lines of communication to decay.

Two specific areas where I can improve and become a more supportive communicator is by taking ownership of my statements, and in being a better listener.  At times, when I am relaying a message that I don’t agree with or I think that others will not readily accept, I fail to take ownership of the message.  In these situations I use language such as “management has asked that…” or “the handbook says that we have to…”  By using this kind of language I am causing a gap in interpersonal communication by depersonalizing the message.  I can improve these messages by saying “I believe that the handbook policy addressing this provides the answer…”  Reframing the message this way shows that I support the policies in the handbook, instead of separating myself from them.  

Whetten and Cameron (2016) say that “most people have underdeveloped listening skills.”  I believe that one of my biggest weaknesses with listening skills is that while I should be listening, I am constructing my response.  Covey (1989) said “Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand.  We listen with the intent to reply.”  Headlee (2016) suggested that we should avoid multitasking while listening.  Multitasking begins when we do anything in addition to listening.   As I recognize my tendency to do this I will be able to work towards overcoming it.  Just this week I have caught myself doing this a few different times, and have been able to refocus on what is being said.

As I apply the eight attributes of supportive communication I will be able to improve my communication skills, and “enhance feelings of trust, openness, and support” (Whetten & Cameron, 2016).

References

Covey, S. (1989). The seven habits of highly effective people. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Headlee, C. (2016). 10 ways to have a better conversation [Video File]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/R1vskiVDwl4

Whetton, D. A. & Cameron, K. S. (2016). Developing management skills 9th ed. Boston, MA: Pearson.

A520.3.3.RB_CliffordMarc

Image credit: Chron.com

Pablo Picasso said that “every act of creation is, first of all, an act of destruction”. Consider this statement in light of constraints we place on ourselves in the workplace. What are some constraints that you need to destroy before you can engage in creative problem solving? Give an example of how a constraint you placed on yourself prevented you from solving a problem. Reflect on what you could have done differently and how you will prevent that constraint from limiting you in the future.

Constraint.  The word itself feels uncomfortable.  It evokes the thought of straightjackets, fetters, ropes, and chains.  Nobody in their right mind would put any of those on them self.  However, although we may not be inclined to put ourselves in physical constraints, everybody to some extend experiences constraints in the workplace.  Constraints are the factors that limit or restrict what a person can do (Spacey, 2016).  Constraints come in many forms: it could be a false deadline that we place on our self, it could be the feeling that management is not interested in hearing our ideas, or it could be the fear of failure which causes inaction.  

There have been numerous times that I have felt constrained because of my noninquisitiveness.  Whetton and Cameron (2016) say that noninquisitiveness occurs when “the inability to solve problems result from an unwillingness to ask questions, obtain information, or search for data.”  They also suggest that one reason for this is that “Individuals may think they will appear naive or ignorant if they question something” (Whetton & Cameron, 2016).  

I can remember experiencing this conceptual block on several occasions.  It has most frequently occured in a group setting; a training class, a group project, or a town hall type meeting.  In these settings a question has frequently come into my mind that I do not know the answer to.  It might be a question about a particular aircraft system during a training class, or it might be a question about a policy that seems unclear during a town hall meeting.  I rarely ask those questions in those settings because I don’t want to appear ignorant.  I have always valued intelligence and I take pride in the fact that I can solve problems and figure things out on my own.  However, as Whetton and Cameron (2016) suggest, I erroneously have thought that intelligence means knowing all the answers; it has never occurred to me it might have more to do with asking good questions.  If I had been able to overcome my pride and ask the questions, I would not have had to research the answers on my own.  I may also have been able to benefit from the combined creativity of the group instead of relying on my own problem-solving ability.

To prevent this from occurring in the future I need to remember that there are ways to ask a question without seeming unintelligent.  I have heard people frame their questions by saying something like “Pardon my ignorance but…” and then they ask the question.  This approach seems to disarm people and make even out of place questions more acceptable.  It is almost as though the questioner is saying “Sorry guys, I know I should have the answer to this but…”  I guess the old adage, “there is no such thing as a stupid question…” really applies to me in this situation.

Pablo Picasso said that “every act of creation is, first of all, an act of destruction.”  As I overcome my pride and recognize that even intelligent people ask good questions I will be able destroy this constraint of noninquisitiveness and slip out of the straightjacket, break free of the ropes, and break the chains that prevent me from being a better problem-solver.

References

Spacey, J. (2016, January 30). 19 types of project constraints. Retrieved from https://simplicable.com/new/project-constraint

Whetton, D. A. & Cameron, K. S. (2016). Developing management skills 9th ed. Boston, MA: Pearson.

A520.2.3.RB_CliffordMarc

Image credit: www.uhs.umich.edu

What is the expected value of spending 10 minutes doing nothing? What did you learn about yourself and your own stress through this exercise? Is this something you will continue and will you encourage others to practice these techniques? Why or Why not? How can remaining in the present reduce stress? 

In a TED Talk Andy Puddicombe (2013) makes the claim that taking just ten minutes out of each day to be mindful can have a positive impact on our lives. Mindfulness has been defined as “the state of being attentive to and aware of what is taking place in the present” (Brown and Ryan, 2003). Mindfulness can alternatively be called meditation (Puddicombe, 2013), or present-moment awareness (Donald, Atkins, Parker, Cristie & Ryan, 2016)  Numerous studies have highlighted the benefits of mindfulness.  For example “present-moment awareness as a general disposition is associated with a host of psychological benefits, such as reduced anxiety and depressive symptoms, lowered perceived stress, increased mood and improved well-being" (Donald et al., 2016).  Puddicombe (2013) suggests that feelings of stress, distraction, and being overwhelmed can not only be overcome, but these issues can be prevented in the first place by practicing mindfulness.  He also says that mindfulness can help in coping with difficult emotions, learning to be in the present, and being more healthy.  Mindfulness can even help treat heart disease, lower blood pressure, improve sleep, and alleviate gastrointestinal difficulties.

As I spent a few days practicing mindfulness for just ten minutes I noticed benefits right away.  After just one day I recognized that I was much more conscious of my thoughts.  At a couple points throughout the day I caught myself thinking, “that was an interesting thought, I wonder where it came from.”  Before practicing mindfulness I felt that thoughts were simply there, and I never considered them as separate, unique, identifiable units.  Before learning about and practicing mindfulness I saw my thoughts as the noise of a bustling city; constant, disordered, and indistinguishable; in a word, a cacophony.  After practicing mindfulness for just a few days I now recognize my thoughts as separate and unique sounds; a distant train going down the tracks, the sound of traffic on the nearby roads, the birds in the park, and so on.  I am much more conscious of each thought as an individual unit.

While doing the exercise of doing nothing for ten minutes on the first day I recognized that my mind kept wandering back to things that I needed to do; take my daughter to the library, work on my MSLD 520 assignments, respond to that email from work.  However, I also recognized that the fact that I was constantly dwelling on my to-do list was increasing my level of stress.  Being conscious of this, however, helped me to put things into perspective and realize that there was no need to stress about any of it; that I would be able to accomplish everything I needed to do.  Interestingly, the second and third day my mind did not wander constantly back to the tasks on my to-do list at all.  I felt that I was much more aware of my physical body, and being in the moment on those days.

After practicing mindfulness for just ten minutes a day for three days, I plan to continue the practice. I expect to continually see increasing benefits the more comfortable and proficient I get.  In fact, I even downloaded Andy Puddicombe’s iphone App, Headspace, and plan on doing the exercises daily.  I would recommend that anyone who wants to be more self-aware do the same.

References

Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4), 822-848. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.84.4.822

Donald, J. N., Atkins, P. W. B., Parker, P. D., Christie, A. M., & Ryan, R. M. (2016). Daily stress and the benefits of mindfulness: Examining the daily and longitudinal relations between present-moment awareness and stress responses. Journal of Research in Personality, 65, 30-37. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2016.09.002

Puddicombe, A. (2013, January 11). All it takes is 10 mindful minutes. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzR62JJCMBQ

A520.1.3.RB_CliffordMarc

Image credit: thinglink.com

Although I have only completed one course while working on the MSLD program, I have recognized that my self-awareness has increased in various ways.  Self-awareness is defined as “a knowledge of one’s own personality and individuality.” (Whetton and Cameron, 2016).  In other words, self-awareness is concerned with how well I know myself; not the mental image that I hold of the ideal me, but how well I know the real me!  They suggest that there are five core aspects of self-awareness and define them as core self-evaluation, values, emotional intelligence, attitudes toward change, and cognitive style.  One personality attribute related to the aspect of core self-evaluation is openness.  Openness is “the extent to which people… are open to new ideas as opposed to being rigid or dogmatic” (Whetton and Cameron, 2016).  One aspect of self-awareness is emotional intelligence.  In fact as previously mentioned, emotional intelligence is one of the five core aspects of self-awareness.   “Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to diagnose, understand, and manage emotional cues (Whetton and Cameron, 2016).”

In the past I have been rigid and unbending regarding my ideas, opinions and beliefs.  I used to hold the belief that my thinking was the correct way of thinking. I remember one occasion a few years ago that I got annoyed at a coworker when he changed the channel on the TV in the pilot’s lounge from the news channel that I preferred to a news channel with a different viewpoint.  Last fall I took a course in which we learned, studied, discussed, applied, and practiced critical thinking.  Learning how to think critically has really helped me to widen my perspective and be able to see and understand why others might have opinions that differ from my own.  Critical thinking has helped me improve my openness and emotional intelligence greatly.  In a witty way Paul (Nosich, 2012) said “Critical thinking is thinking about your thinking, while you’re thinking, in order to make your thinking better.”  Throughout the time that we were learning about critical thinking I was thinking about my thinking!  I began to recognize that I regularly made assumptions, limited issues to my personal point of view, and sometimes did not even take into account all of the available information.  As I have gained life experience, and by studying critical thinking, I have become much more open to different points of view, and I feel that I can now understand a little better why others see things the way they do.

I have noticed that others have reacted positively to my increased openness and emotional intelligence.  In one of my roles as a leader I have several other leaders that I oversee.  For a period of time I sensed some friction between one of the leaders and I.  We finally met to discuss a few issues, and we were able to openly discuss the source of the friction.  She told me that she felt that I did not understand her point of view and said that she felt unsupported by me.  As a result I decided to begin holding brief individual monthly meetings with each of the leaders that I oversee.  The purpose is to help me understand their individual point of view better, and for me to provide support and encouragement.  As I began holding these meetings I began to see and understand much better some of the issues and difficulties they were each dealing with.  I began to have greater openness and emotional intelligence.  Some of these leaders have even commented that they appreciate the support that I give them.

References

Nosich, G. M. (2012) Learning to think things through: A guide to critical thinking across the curriculum (4th edition). Boston, MA: Pearson.

Whetton, D. A. & Cameron, K. S. (2016). Developing management skills 9th ed. Boston, MA: Pearson.